Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
