how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
