I just pynch a tree in the face
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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