you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
