I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
