Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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