Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
