i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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