I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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