very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
