I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
