Who did Billy Mays play for?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
