you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
