On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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