I hate all girls vehemently.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
