best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
