I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
