i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
