I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
