I got chris browned last night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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