and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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