Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
