using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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