I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
