you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
