Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't deserve a penis
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
