you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize