the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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