Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
