So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
