I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
