I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They took my balls.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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