True but thats because hes a fetus.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
