It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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