also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
