ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
