peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we made out on top of his cat.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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