i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
