sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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