return my video game
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize