I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
