last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
