I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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