thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
