I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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