I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When are your genitals available?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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