There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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