addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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