i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
