i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How's work?
Spinning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
