I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
