STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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