Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize