check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
