remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
