batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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