i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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