This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
