The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
