Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
