Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize