If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
