What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
