I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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