R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
