i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize