He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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