**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i barfeds in our rink
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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