lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
