I just cut my nipple shaving
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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