Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize